1. |
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The Dan Savage Experiment x3
They'll try to make you laugh
But they're probably gonna fail
Because they Suck
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2. |
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Inappropriate Footwear
V1
Your getting ready for the big night (Big night)
Lookin fine dressed to the nines (accesorized)
Can't go wrong with that little black dress (woowoo)
Ears iced out neck drips with pearl
Prech1
Time for some flair on them tootsies (tootsies)
Cram em both in to some cute heels (Cute heels)
Bunions be damned, hammer toes are in fashion
Fasciitis, arthritis delightously tight let us see….YUP
Ch1
That’s inappropriate footwear
On that foot right there I swear
Gonna fall down that staircase
Right on your face then you’ll know
Those puppies important,
Your treatment abhorrent
Inappropriate footwear…..
V2
Client meeting then off to Belize (vaca)
Manscaped and ready to play(sexy bitch)
Change your clothes into your beachwear (speedo packed)
Uber ordered, 5 minutes away
Prech2
The CFO wants a quick update
About the big account you just closed
But when he gets up to shake your hand
He notices your feet, white socks socks in SANDALS!?!? (no, no, no, no, no)!
Ch2
That’s inappropriate footwear
For the boardroom, beach or bar
You better unpack those loafers
Or your never getting laid
Even a pair of them flip flops
G-string up those toe cracks
Still Inappropriate footwear
Solo
V3
Waking up a quarter past 5 (AM)
Bleary eyed, cuppa joe for the ride (coffee black)
Factory floor, bossman in a rage (grumble grumble)
Sends ya home cuz your gears not to code
Prech3
Gotta have that little green triangle (Triangle)
Denoting sole puncture protection (Protection)
With a grade one protective toe cap (toe cap)
And electrical insulation that’s CSA approved (oved)
Ch3
Now that appropriate footwear
On the foyer of your home
20k down that highway
Past the Biway and Kmart
You gotta be half psychotic
Without those orthotics
Inappropriate footwear…..
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3. |
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Weak Day
(A Day in the Life of a Week)
V1 (Monday)
I’m a grown man but man do i groan
when I get up outta bed to get ahead of this day
Should I stay right here instead
Nope, I gotta make a good impression on some jackass cuz it’s
MONDAY
Ch1
Weak day always getting in the way
Tryna live me life like, party-time, excellent
All I wanna do is play
This day so weak can’t wait for Friday night
V2 (Tuesay)
Today is Tuesday, Second day of the week
Prolly gonna reek cuz i ain’t shower this morn
(Because of PORN)
And didn’t get chance last night
I just passed out on sight of that SO-FA
MI I DO what I want
But I gotsta pay them bill for all the netflix and chills
For all the honeys in the swipe right club, I’ll rub-a-dub my body in that tub until I’m fresh and so clean….
Ch2
Weak day always getting in the way
Tryna live my life like party-time, excellent
All I wanna do is play
This day so weak can’t wait for Friday night
(Wednesday-Breakdown
Raucous party build up: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a minute here. What is this beauty that I behold in front of me, that little bastard right there, in the middle, with a capital D a D a D-D-D-D Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday….
V3
They call it hump day, it’s not a sexual thing
Get your mind out of that gutter man, you’re better than that
I could be out there with them College kids
Layin’ grooves, teaching moves just like I used to do but,
I got responsibilities these days
So I’m passed out on the Lazy-Boy sofa couch, watchin’ sports, with a beer, in my underwear….
V4 (Thursday)
(It’s the final countdown)
(Spoken) The haze begins to lift, it’s Thursday and that can only mean one thing. Sally from payroll should be down here any minute now with that fat stack of envelops. You see, it’s payday here at Glory Corp ™….mmm, here we go, it’s Sally doin the payday sache all the over to my cubicle bay. That’s right girl, imma do it today. I’m gonna ask this fine little sweetie on a superfly date…Here we go
Sally: That’s quite the booger ya got there Brad
Brad: Oh, thanks Sally, thanks…..oh man…See you next week
Sally: Same time same place
Brad: *sigh*
V5 (Friday)
The lights go down at the workplace,
It’s time to change up your headspace
No need to take any work home
Cause it’s Friday, and you’re no longer alone. .
(1: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday)
It’s Friday-eee-aay-eee-aay-eee-aay
(2: [double time] Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday)
It’s Friday-eee-aay-eee-aay-eee-aay
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4. |
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My Fallback is a Malbec with You
V1
Some drink champagne in Lausanne
Others Rioja on the coast of Spain.
You might sip vermouth on An Italian roof.
Others prefer sherry, in the LondonDerry
Air, So sweet I can almost taste it
Crisp autumn breeze, Platter of cheese, ain’t gonna waste it
Me I get led to that Argentine Red
Plump, dark fruit flavors with a smoky finish
Ch
My fall back, my fallback is a malbec
My fallback is a Malbec with you.
V2
Some drink Chianti with a side of fava beans
But that don’t pair well with a pan-fried spleen
Others will stick to a spit roasted pig
But I know you, you just wanna marijuana
Forget weed and feed I’m into wine and dine
Chef Boyardeaux, don’t you know i’m quite the gastrognome
A real oenophile, constantly Kerouaced
Always got me in the grip of the grape
Ch
My fall back, my fallback is a malbec
My fallback is a Malbec with you.
Narration
When I feel your long slender cylinder in my hands my body quivers with anticipation of that rich, velvety, full bodied juiciness flowing down my throat. With subtle notes of vanilla and tobacco and your sublime balance of tannins and acid served and a perfect 69 degrees…
V3
Liquor then wine you’ll be fine, so they may say
Other way round less profound, guarantees no foreplay
That’s why I stick to my dry red romance
So i’m off to the LC right to the vintages section
Ch
My fall back, my fallback is a malbec
My fallback is a Malbec with you….last line x2
In Vino Veritas
Drinking wines, writing rhymes
All for good times
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5. |
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Eugene’s a Woman Now
V1
Eugene was born the son of a macho man
But could not throw quite like the others can
On the playground taunts grew year by year, ever more severe
Couldn’t find a peer,
Time to be a queer pioneer
Ch1
Eugene’s a woman now
A biological gender miscommunication
Eugenes a woman now
Regardless of your inept observation
Eugene’s a Woman x3
V2
To some it would seem Eugene's life was obscene
Working nights as the drag queen Maureen
Wearing tight pantyhose
Locked in a burlesque pose
Slowly rose to fame but ol'Gene never felt the same so...
Ch2
Eugene’s a woman now
She shed the stigma of discimination
Eugene’s a woman now
Become a goddamn inspiration
V3
Eugene was never happy as a man
They went to the Dr. and said i have a plan
The Dr looked at them and gave them his prognosis
He said we’re gonna have to cut off your
P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-problem
Ch3
Eugenes a woman now
And not just because of the amputation
Eugenes a woman now
There ain’t no need for contemplation
Eugene’s a woman
Ch4
Eugene’s a woman now
I’m gonna have to deal with this mad temptation
Eugene’s a woman now
Good thing I brought this lubrication….
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6. |
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The Ballad of Amber and Johnny
V1
Have you heard the news today about those vapid celebrities
They love to hate and hate to love in drunken fits of rage
They call each other every name you’ve ever heard and more
Come sit down round here, I’ll tell you of their lore
Ch
Yippie-i-a, yippie-i-o
The ballad of Amber and Johnny Depp
V2
They met on a movie set a flick called the Rum Diary
Ironic cuz libations are what caused this fiery rift
He said that she would rant and rave which drove him to the drink
No-one ever wins, communication on the brink
Ch
V3
They fight and scream seem to live the dream from La to Australia
Who shit the bed the dog she said after eating Johnnys stash
Teacup Yorkies 4 pounds each could not produce such feces
Strongly Johnny feels it’s Miss Heard that made that turd
Ch
V4
From flying vodka bottles and severed finger tips
A cautionary tale that only Hollywood could spin
Now all the world is well aware of their abusive deeds
The way to wealth and fame can lead down a deceitful path
Ch (repeat last 4 bars x4)
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7. |
Rock Song
05:04
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V1 (D)
Our love is so hard, it’s like granite
I try not to take it for granted,
or it erodes like our city roads
And turned to gravel.
(S)
Then to sand…
(S)
This crystallization is my realization
(of how beautiful you are.)
If we let eons go by our love will pressurize
And turn Clay into shale into slate into phyllite
wouldn’t that be
gniess
Ch (D/S)
This aint just a rock song, or a song about rocks
Geologic formations as a metaphor of love and lust
Cleavage a double entendre I just cant ignore
So many cracks and crevices to explore
V2 (S)
We’re so hot together, like magma
Sticky and red under the cover
of the continental shelf that is your blanket on your bed
Waiting to erupt
In a blast of ash and fire
(D)
You’re my one desire
Ch.
Br (D/S)
When coral fossilizes
It turns to lime stone
If our love does the same
It would turn rock and roll down a dusty incline
and as the years go by
would it metamorphosize
or would turn into dust
and spread over the earth's crust
V3 (D)
Vesicles stud my yearning. With all of this lava burning I can’t figure out if you're just a sedimentary layer or a pyrite player.
Ch
This aint just a rock song, or a song about rocks
Geologic formations as a metaphor of love and lust
Cleavage a double entendre I just cant ignore
So many cracks and crevices to explore
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8. |
Don't fumble your love
02:02
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V1
Before you there was a Blank Space
Seems like an Era since you had a Lover
Then he tossed you his Hail Mary
Thought he could take you to the End Zone
]V2
Kicked off your love, you called an Audible
Tightest End beyond your Wildest Dreams
Knew he was trouble Blitzed the senses
Swiftly became ‘Merican royalty
PreCh1
Can we trust that this love is real
Not a scam, just for clicks appeal
You know us, we can never tell
Swifties live and we breath on you love affairs
CH
Don't fumble your love
No flag on the play
Your hearts not a game to bet on
4th and Goal at the 1
Digging in for that push
You’re TnT, like, Dynamite
V3
Standing at the Line of scrimmage
To them we’re just the Anti-Heros
Forget them and all the Bad Blood
Time for you to just Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake it off
Prech2
Now your perched, in a private box
With his Mom, and a shirtless Jay
Bff, Brittany Mahomes
Superbowl, Hey let’s go, time to steal the show
CH
Don't fumble your love
No flag on the play
Your hearts not a game to bet on
4th and Goal at the 1
Digging in for that push
You’re TnT, like, Dynamite
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Dan/Savage Experiment Toronto, Ontario
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